सिस्टम की कहानी (System ki Kahani)

मेरा होश सँभालते ही, मासूमियत के समझदारी में बदलते ही

एक दुश्मन से मुलाकात हुई

क्या नाम दूं उसे ये समझ पाने की मुशक्कत में

रात से दिन और दिन से रात हुई

फिर एक दिन शाम को आवारागर्दी करते हुए

एक दोस्त से एक शिकायत सुनी

भाई बोला - यार गलती मेरी नहीं है| ये साले सिस्टम की है||

अगस्त में पढ़ाओ, फिर दश्हेरा, दिवाली, क्रिसमस की छुट्टी दो,

अप्रैल में परीक्षा लो, और पास नहीं हुए तो गाली दो|

अब मैंने थोड़े ही कहा है एक साल का इंतज़ार करो

पढ़ाओ, और पूछ लो

ना बता पाएं तो पीट लो

पर नहीं, सिस्टम ही ऐसा है के साल भर पढ़ कर ही फेल हो सकते हो पहले नहीं

ये साला सिस्टम ही ख़राब है

तब समझ में आया, के स्कूल एक सिस्टम है

सिस्टम का जो दिल करे जब दिल करे,

कर सकता है और करवा सकता है

पूरी बाल्टी पानी की खाली करके, फिर भरवा सकता है

ये समझ में भी आया के सिस्टम ज़्यादातर ख़राब ही होता है

न किसी की सुनता न समझता है

सिर्फ अपने कायदे और अपने कानून से ही चलता है

सोचने समझने में शाम से रात हो गई

सिस्टम और उसकी तानाशाही आई गई बात हो गई||

of today!

सुना था के एक वाकया काफी है ज़िन्दगी बदलने के लिए |

इस मुल्क में न वाकयों की कमी है न जिंदगियों की ||

Who are you gonna be?

One of my online friend's recently asked a question on FB about what people remember of their childhood dreams, what did they want to be when they grew up!!

Some pretty interesting answers could be read as responses, and what I see if that after a certain time in your life, money stops playing a role and becomes a necessary accomodity, and satisfaction and peace starts moving towards the top of the "wanted" list! Does it happen because people have earned enough, or know that they have enough capability to earn for their current and future needs, or anything else, and it could be answered in many ways! What is for sure in all of these answers is that with time we tend to set our priorities right, and have enough clarity or atleast we feel that we have enough clarity to move in the direction we "want" to move in, and not what the society or peer pressure or competition "makes" us move in!

And I believe its never too late to be what you wanted to be! or to realise what you really were, what you have become and what needs to be done to be what you've always been or wanted to become!

That's all that I have to say about that!

With that line from Forrest Gump, here is another quote from it!

Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?

Forrest Gump: Who I'm gonna be?

Jenny Curran: Yeah.

Forrest Gump: Aren't-aren't I going to be me?

a lot has been going on

Crank Highvoltage Sharepoint Exchange Lotus Notes Lotus Live Office 365 Status update Deadline Traffic 1.25 hours Chickpeas Green Tea Flat Tyre Coffee with one sugar Swipe in Monitor Torrents Palio RED Toll Plaza Southie Bade Achhe Lagte hain Morning Playlist Lenovo Thinkpad L420 Phone call Birthday Party MBlaze Notes Cold Coffee Caller Ring Back Tone Printout Fridge Magnet Boss Dubai Busy 24 Dell Formals Rain Drive Orccha Blackberry Painting Windows Reinstall Photography Macbook Pro Talking Tom Sudoku 90% Mustang Nonsense Commitment Ring Loneliness Tourist Birds Palmolive Transformers Bose Kungfu Panda

...

One of the most tiring, both physically and mentally, weeks is finally coming to an end! a good one at that!!!

Thank you uncle God!

Oogle List

1. TATA Xenon

2. Apple Ipad 2

3. A 60 Inch TV

4. Yamaha or Onkyo Amp, Speakers and Woofer (Sounds like home theatre in a box, but is totally different)

5. A couple of Canon L Series Prime Lenses

good ideas

Jim Corbett plan postponed! no issues! good idea infact!

Looking forward to a training and another certification! good idea again!

Spending the weekend at home, not doing much except watching a movie! good idea!

Getting the tires aligned and balanced! very important idea!

Preparing an additional spare tire for long drives! good idea!

1.1.11

This year has been an year of deaths!!!

and no DEATH is not always bad... at times it is, however for a relatively short duration of time as compared to time itself!

I knew some who died this year, I did not know a lot who did! but irrespective of this, I grew closer to death, my own, of people who are close to me and mean a lot to me, and the concept of death as a whole!

DEATH always leaves a VOID... it was surprising how I felt when some friends lost their near and dear ones this year! I did not know this people except that I knew they were there!

People leave, and they do that for good! leaving behind an emptyness.. something that you feel when you are shifting your house after years of staying there... You do not see the walls, you see what was there on those walls... you don't see a corner, you probably see your favorite program which was on the TV last night...you don't see a door, you think of the last time you opened that door and walked into the warmth of your home... you don't see a kitchen, you see the dishes that were there which your mom cooked last week!!!

The year is also coming to an end! Its dying! we cannot save it either, and that's a fact... time does not stop, and there is no point trying either! My options being, either to welcome the new life in whatever form that its coming, or to cry about what has been lost!

While I am still not able to come to terms with the concept of death and its brutal existance.. ok... not brutal, but existance!! I am looking forward to 1.1.11

Felt like a friday

Been a very strange week this one!

Since Monday, every day felt like Friday! not because it was festive, but something inside me really wished that the next day is a Saturday (read a holiday), and now that its Friday finally, it does not feel like one at all!

I, however, am still waiting for the saturday :)

I think I need to go dancing!!!

Champ of the month!

Getting an award when you cannot substantiate why you "should" get it is more of an embarrassment than a matter of pride!

Maybe I am being overcritical of myself, but I am not really sure why I should have been awarded at work as yet! Am far from what I need to achieve!

...

मुझे ये भी पता है.. वो भी पता है...

पर कुछ चीज़ें थी ज़रूरी...जो दिल भूल सा गया है

Life ka Maza!!!!

I am getting to realize what keeps me happy!!!!

Its simple...

Doing a lot of things together!!!

Its like a catalog of things that I have to have in my mind, and I need to start and stop my activities... It keeps me going...

If I am doing just one thing... I end up being very restless and dissatisfied with myself!

Nothing to do!

So used to being caught up in something or the other, a day to relax does not seem to fit into the larger schema of things!

I should go find something to do!

Only after
I take Meera for her first service
I finish my meeting in the afternoon
and I complete the checklist of things that papa has given!

...

Out of a few things which are difficult to find, one is "closure".

...

Jai Ram ji ki!

Time Travel

It’s really a matter of time...

Isn't it? or is it?

Imagine a situation where you can move 100 times as fast as anything imaginable... would you be able to walk right into future? theoretical, maybe! because you have moved ahead of everyone, everything... but it’s a li'il hard to imagine.. but imagine a time when what takes 24 hours for the rest of everything you know, can be done in, say, 10 hours by you...A controlled increase in speed should take you to a "relative" future state...

Also if you are able to slow down... like reeeeeeeeeally reeeeeeeeeeally slow down, would you not be able to move back into the past? because the rest of the world has moved ahead! and so has the trees, and the earth, and the snow and everything else too... going by the same example... 24 hours for the rest of the existence would mean, umm let's say, 36 for you...and a controlled reduction in speed should take you to a "relative" past.

if you can switch between the fast and slow at your own sweet will, you will be able to time travel!

This of-course depends heavily on what you consider a constant... because present, past and future are only relative terms... tomorrows' past is today, but today is also yesterday's future... so be a li'il careful with choosing your reference marks! also if the reference moves around then the entire calculation of the past, present and future can go for a toss, and you will land up in a totally parallel world! How about that!

I really wish I was able to pictorially or visually represent what I am writing right now! damn it!

anyway!

Flowers !

Sahil : I sent you flowers !


Purvi : What? Why?

Sahil : Oh, because I love you and because you told me you were not feeling too well and because you are alone there...

Purvi : How many times do I need to tell you that I don't want you to send me flowers? I think they bring bad luck to me

Sahil : I am sorry but you were not well for the last few days and I could not think of something else...

Purvi : Whatever !

Sahil : Anyway, but the hotel that you told me you were staying in, says that there is no one called Purvi checked in there...

Purvi : Oh, yea, I checked out ! forgot to tell you !

Randomness in me !

Come to think about it, Chai Ki Dukaan is a random blog !!! Not many posts are in order of being connected to each other, however there is a certain order that got built in between all this randomness over the last few years !

I am wondering if there are enough random things that I can write about myself, but looks like there are... every month every week every day something new happens that might just seem random but is a part of a larger plan someone (I don't know who) is busy making for me !!! so thank you that someone :) !!

and here is a free flow of some randomness about myself...

1. I face Southwest in my office and at days when I reach early (like 7ish) and the day is sunny, there is sunlight on my desk... I love it

2. I like to give and get credit for things both at work and in personal life! If I am using something that someone else has worked on, I do try to ensure that the audience knows about that effort ! I absolutely hated it when a friend once used a picture that I clicked and put it on her page without a mention of me anywhere and without asking me... and all of this when she knew that the picture was very close to my heart... to top it all she comes back and tells me that she did justice to the picture by doing that !!! phew !

3. I don't work for money.. I love what I do at work, and that's why I work ! IT Services Consulting... love it! and money most of the time is the least of my worries... Surprisingly whenever it has been a cause of concern, it was taken care of... as if someone was ensuring it does not bother me! and at multiple times!

4. Mostly my life is driven by needs and not wants... if I want something too much then I try to figure out how it qualifies to be a need and then get it!

5. I want to get married next year... how to go about it is another story and will need a post a blog a diary an year to write about ! I am hoping I will find someone really nice who my parents would like too sometime!

6. I forget about drinking water and having food at times when I am too much into work!


7. I take my time (now) before I decide on what kind of a person someone is... earlier it used to be a quick(er) judgment !

8. There has been a phase in my life when I totally hated women and that went on for a year or so... no points for guessing that it was because of a relationship that ended at a very very bad note.. I have never cried that much in my life...

9. My behavior (mostly) is driven by how I would like to be treated in a similar situation... that has helped me a lot over the past few years !!!

10. I don't have an excuse for not working out regularly ! and thankfully for the past two days I am regular with exercise... ;) two needs to be 20 and 20 needs to be 200 !

11. I love tea and not all tea... tea is with tea leaves and not really anything and everything that you can dry and crush to a powder and put in a bag! Though I have to admit that I like some of them, but not many!

12. I am an extremely lucky person. There are times when I feel frustrated, but when I look back at things I realize that most of it did fall into place... and Uncle God has been around most of the time either in the form of my parents, or my friends or in forms that I did not realize then but I do now!

13. I can act strangely crazy, closed, stupid at times, and all of this while knowing that I should not be doing it... I guess I cannot lie to myself !

14. I think flowers good great in B/W photographs ! For that matter, I think most of the things look great in B/W... even life ! :)


15. I had a 3 gb collection of porn which I deleted last year! ok 3.4 GB!

16. I enjoy walking


17. Alone on the hills


18. and I feel the need of a company at times on the beaches

19. But I have sat down and looked at the sea for hours alone as well, and I loved all of those experiences !

20. I broke down the beach/hill/alone/company points above so that I finish 25 random points quicker !!

21. My interest in anything stops when learning from it stops!

22. But I also feel that I am growing up to be a more patient person than I have been all through these years ! So I tend to find ways to get some learning or make things interesting when they are too conveyor belt-ish.

23. I want to go back to London and stay there for at least 6 months during spring and fall.


24. I like open windows and fresh air... Even when the temperature was in negatives outside, I would open the window an inch or so that fresh air can circulate inside my apartment...

25. I like heights... I could jump from a plane 14500 ft above ground (Sky diving, Chicago last year) but I find it difficult to jump from a 22ft cliff into the water (River Rafting, Rishikesh every year, well almost every year).

26... So I finished 25 but I think I can write a few more

27. I like to be in love... Its a very complete feeling... and I am not really talking about the relationship love, it can be the love for someone without being in a relationship as well, and the willingness to do things to make them happy... I do not like an overuse of the word "love"... its a precious word for me!


28. I don't understand football but I love Tennis (Pete Sampras and Steffi Graf are my favorites, but I don't know everything about them like most fans do; watching them play was a visual delight like nothing else; I liked watching Ivan Lendl and Boris Becker as well) and Basketball( Lakers happens to be my favorite team and Kobe Bryant the favorite player)... I cannot watch cricket alone...

29. This number and my age have a certain resemblance that is both comforting and challenging at the same time

30. I am going to be 30 soon.. I wanted to take a month long break travel throughout India when that happens, but looks like I would be spending it here in the US.. the month long break has been deferred and the three must go places for me are Ahmedabad, Kolkata and Mumbai


31. I have learned how to play a keyboard and a guitar and have spent most of my college life either on the stage or in greenrooms or writing/directing/doing street plays... I really miss those times ! Really!


32. This is a very very long post ! tell me if you did manage to read it !!! Chandan, you specially :)

Another one of (not so) random thoughts

Mon, a dear friend, few days back wrote about how people change with time, how close friends grow apart and a few other things... Somehow that does not surprise me at all... People change, distances grow or reduce, and so on and so forth... with time I have learnt to accept that as a fact, however the good thing is that with time my faith in those handful of relationships that I guard like crazy and will do ANYTHING to save has also strengthened !!!

What surprises me are those people who can be absolutely different like black and white at the same time ( and that includes me too at times)... The warmest souls to some, and the worst people on earth for someone else ! Saying something and being someone ELSE at the same time! Thankfully I cannot be someone else and claim to be a different person at the same time, but there are people who can. I can get into the tactical details here, but that would just mean talking more about a few people I know, which I am not sure is required !

While I agree that this can happen with every one, every time I think about this, I am reminded of someone I knew who was a classic example of being two faces at the same time !!! Phew !!! Before that I never knew that such extremes are possible!

I secretly hope that I do not bump into one of such amazing people in my life, but then I am not the one deciding the flow here :) I am just rafting !!! let it come !!!

Tushar bhai, I miss Rishikesh and our rafting trips !!!

So is Life !

A bit too unpredictable!! You gotta live every single second of it !!!

While I feel encouraged to live every second right now, I also feel bad about wasting my time over things/people/incidents which were not really worth it... They have done some good for me for sure, first by teaching me a lesson, and then making it all more important for me to make up for the lost time ! Ok forget it... let me just turn the rear view mirror away for a while !

Turning off the comments on this post !!! This was written in a mind frame and thoughts which were triggered by the untimely and sudden death of a very dear friend... I am not really sure that the post reflects what all I have been thinking... and I am not really sure I feel like talking more about this post !!

Apologies if you had a comment to make !