You know you are turning amreekan if
1. You have a coffee cup or its holder in your car, in your bag, on your desk, in your kitchen, on your dining table, on your "Coffee" table, next to your wash basin and in your hand
2. If you reach office early, let's say before 8 or at times 7:30 am and also leave early
3. If you, when it gets hot, walk around with your t-shirt on your shoulders instead of wearing it
4. If you feel that a horn is an unnecessary part of an automobile
5. If you wear a t-shirt (polo style) with trousers and a formal leather belt and formal shoes
Or if you wear a tshirt(polo style) with short(formal looking) with a formal leather belt and sports or casual shoes
6. You wonder how people live in these countries every single time someone talks to you about India or China or Sri Lanka. And would have a never ending list of things which are not good about India and a longer never ending list of how everything can be resolved
7. If you do not associate Asia with India and visa versa! Asians are Chinese! Indians are Pakistani! and Pakistani are Indian! Bangadeshi and Sri Lankans ! well, Indians again!
8. If you fail to understand why the traffic moves at an average of 50 kmph in countries like India
9. If your footpaths are now called CURBS, if your washbasin taps are now called FAUCETS, if the policemen are now called cops! oh no! not cops, but KHAAPS (read it like PAAP in Hindi), if your taxis are now called CABS
10. If a burger or a sandwich can be treated as lunch
11. If you look for a fat free sign on almost everything that you buy from the grocery store. And one thing that you will always find in your fridge is "I can't believe its not butter".
12. If your kitchen does not have a door
13. If you have a panic attack if you cannot find a tissue roll in your bathroom even though there is a perfectly nice and shining mug kept there
14. The only way to take a bath that you know is a shower. You don't know what to do with a bucket and a mug
15. If you don't know that touching elder's feet is a way of expressing respect like nothing else
16. If you don't stare at cleavages and legs in aww
17. If you don't look around before a lip kiss and after
18. If you start living in today, and not the past and not the future
19. If your requests for credit cards are getting rejected because of a bad credit history
20. If you are ok with paying for incoming phone calls and text messages
21. If you have a pair of running shoes, a pair of walking shoes, a pair of hiking shoes, a pair of office shoes, a pair of casual shoes along some specific running shorts, swimming shorts, walking shorts, casual shorts, short shorts, long shorts and so on...
22. If you have a mp3 player "with" an arm band
23. If you like to eat a cheese burger with diet coke
24. AND, if you stop missing a Chai ki Dukaan at the road side on the highways, or shall we call them Freeways!
What is the relevance of the picture? nothing! I just happen to like the color in there!
I looove this post!! Its so funny.. :D
ReplyDeleteBtw, how many of these traits have been aquired by you?? ;)
P.S: First time my comment goes first on your blog.
hilarious.. like this post... and the pic too...
ReplyDeletekabi aisi fotos ke piche white background laga ke khich
ReplyDelete4 & 16 & 17 - kafi +ive sound kare
9 - ke piche reasons honge kuch
18 - kuch sarcastic laga
1 & 14 & 22 - kafi funny the
Interesting post!
ReplyDeleteToh, aap kitne Amreekan ho gaye ho? :P
Swati
3. And you LOVE it that its hot!
ReplyDelete6 and 7 I don't quite agree with, but then I live in California, not Minneapolis :) Things are different here.
9. Biscuit = cookie, petrol = gas, while gas is, well, still gas :)
10. Add soup and salad to that list!
12. Ever been in those million dollar homes? Wahaan bathroom ke bhi doors nahi hote sometimes ;)
13. bhai mere, empty mug ka kya karenge? Paani ka nalka bhi to hona chahiye!
16, 18. Thank god for that!
21. Ahem, ahem, I have all those and more.
Conclusion: abhi aap desi ho, thankfully :)
:)
ReplyDeletelovely post
hmmm
ReplyDelete1,4,9,10,11,12,13,17,20,21,22,23 apply to me :( But I am still desi at heart.. cmmon this is not fair :P
ha ha ha I LOVED 21.. i really laughed aloud at mid-night !!
ReplyDeletethere are more -
1. if you wear half sleeves t-shirt over full sleeves t-shirt.
2. if you call someone (and parents) to find out if you can come over and see them !!
3. if you have family re-unions, :)
4. if you talk about 2 jobs !!!
5. when you just SWING By the store
6. you have a sunscreen in your bag as well as the jacket(not for California or Texas)!
7. you don't have a desi jhadu at home. I REALLY MISS a jhadu here
8. And you have 5 different liquids to clean the kitchen..and sink
9. When you schedule to do the laundry
10. when you fail to talk or chit-chat with anyone in the street on anything (bars excluded)
11. When you smile at everyone whose eyes meets yours
12. When you are cooking or eating organic food!
13. And yes my fav. cooking with oil spray and eating variety of salads
14. When you hear your neighbor(s) or roommates !!
you for sure are in AMRIKA :) and I think I can come up with a special list for knowing if one is a UTTAARD :)
this was a wonderful post Om... maaja agaaya paadh ke ..
keep them coming.. tanu
Feel like taking a bite out of those bell peppers!They look so fresh!
ReplyDelete#9: yeah...and in Amreeka the cutlery is called "Flatware"...whats up with that!!
Lol@ #13, 16 and 17.
#21...ahem...guilty!
"in amreeka as the americans do" - you summed it up really well :)
ReplyDeletei enjoyed this post... and yes, i missed desi green shimla mirch in that red-yellow bell pepper pic :)
And you know you are turning into a Kanedian when anything over 25 degree C during summer time is "Oh my God, its too hot" and Zero degrees during the winters is pretty balmy! :D
ReplyDelete:)) good post..
ReplyDeleten hey no.10 applies to singles living in India too.....
:) lovely fun post.
ReplyDeleteSome of the things are happening partially in urban India too - like kitchen doors, variety of shoes, cabs. Wish honking was also used when needed.
When did #17 happen with you? :P
:)
ReplyDeleteafter reading this i feel blessed that i have the "best" from both the worlds :)
very enjoyable post!!
HAHAHA mast post hai aapki ji but Tanu's points are spot on!!!
ReplyDelete#18 ,,not sure abt this...US has more depression rate (more in teens) than india.
waise 2 point bataun?
1. when u stop asking anyone/friends who have crossed 28 yrs, 'so when are you getting married'/ 'its time you should be married'/you hv a girlfriend?.
2. when you start giving your clothes to thrifty or charity after using it for 1 or max 2 years. not like india where we 'ghisaao' it till the last fiber breaks and then use it as a rag to clean floors or use as a kitchen wipes!!!
but i think if 70% people goes up the poverty line, they might be doing all this.its money and availability that matters i think.
@ Sam
ReplyDelete:) hehee I am still away from some of the not so good ones !
congratulations :)
@ Anoop
:) thanks bro
@ Burf
theek hai bhai... koshish karunga!
there is a lot of positive in this country... a whole long list! I wonder why we in India fail to pick those things up and confuse idiotism with modernisaton!
there is a reason behind everything... not just one point :)
sarcastic to bahut kuch thaa... but for sure not the good points!
@ Swati
thanks !
main to hindustani thaa aur hindustani rahunga :)
@ Kashmira
I wanted you to comment on this :) knew that you would :) will not get into a line by line detail though on your comment !
I wish we learn the good things and spread them around !
main to desi hoon... no doubt!
@ Aks :)
@ Shivi
hehehehe.... I am sorry budds... some of it is sarcastic, but I mean no harm or offence :)
@ Tanu
hehehe :) we had a good small talk around it! nice to know these points eh! :)
@ Jas...
yea they were nice bell peppers... my lunch sandwich :)
:)
@ Mayuri
:)
@ Jas again
hehehhe
@ Wishes Galore
It sure does apply to a lot of us, irrespective of where we live :)
@ Subbu
hehehe... no did not yet :)
@ Joy
I am glad :)
@ Geet
:) I am sure they are! she has lived more closely to this place than me :)
I don't think living in present has much to do with depression. I also think that Indian teens are smarter and more intelligent, though that is a gut feeling!
Depression rate? Do we measure that in India? How?
tune to bahut seriously le liya lagta hai ye post :D
Nice post!
ReplyDeletehunji ... i was thinking on the same lines just 2 days ago.
ReplyDeleteabout the trend analysis, its not measured in India as far as i know.like you said,its a gut feeling.
god one!
ReplyDeletein book i read about indians settled in the us, the parents of the girl were happy because she was marrying a british guy and not an american. they felt more connected with him bcoz he pronounced z like z and not zee..sumthin that reminded them a lil of india.. :)
ReplyDeleteyour post brought back memories of that book besides other things..
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI quite liked it, ofcourse. And couldnt resist coming up with a list of....
ReplyDeleteYou know you are a Londoner when:
*BLACK is "the" colour in your wardrobe
*You carry an umberella pretty much at all times
*you are always rushing despite the awesome transport, and rare train delays.
*you say "not bad" when asked how was the weekend, wherein u actually went hiking, had a barbecue with friends, and a good drink..... not bad, eh ?
*you say "cheers" if you want to acknowledge just about anything.
*you say 2 ticks.... for 2 minutes.
*You say "You alright there?" meaning to offer help
*Everyone's a "Darling"... :D
Lovely post..and even more lovely comments!!
ReplyDelete:-)
enjoyed reading it
))))
ha ha...i really liked the post...i am just back home after a brief amrika visit and cudnt stop smiling at some points...
ReplyDeletegood job :)