I am not in a relationship these days.. i am not even seeing anyone for that matter... and this has given me some space and time to think about a lot of things...
SPACE is what i have been thinking about the most.. not being in a relationship has helped me a lot actually.. i could do whatever i wanted to do.. i could just live life on my own terms.. without really being questioned... i would walk at my own pace... i would not have to wait for my girlfriend on the bus stop or outside her house for those loooooong 10 minutes... i would not have to keep talking to her even though my mom was calling me inside the house... i would not have to change myself or my ways just because she is not comfortable with them !!!
well so much for happiness together... i am not saying that being in a relationship is always a pain.. but then there are two very very mature individuals who would be part of the relationship which does not end up in pain !!! and i did not have many opportunities to look at such relationships... no no.. lemme correct myself... i have seen some wonderful relationships... though all of them from outside.. i was not one of the partners in it...
what have i learnt... by being a part of a few relationships and by being just a spectator to the rest... is that we all need SPACE..... we all need to be respected for our individuality and that we want our partner to be a part of our lives without corroding that thin line that we draw inside us which has us as an individual on one side.. and a partner on the other... at times.. these two roles do not match.. or maybe initially they do.. but then with time.. we see that the individual that we were is getting away from the partner we are.. and then who can live away from themself... and we start feeling that strain in the relationship !!!
I could not give my ex-girl any space.. and i could not get any either.. and that made us break-up about and year and a half ago.. just hope that the people who think they are in love with each other... give each other a lot of space in the relationship and respect the individuality of their partner...
let ur partner do what they want to !!! and let them come back to you at the end of the day... let them spend their days they want to... and let them tell them how they spent it... let them face their lives themselves.. and let them come to you when they need to.. and give them a surprise by being there all the time.. never let them look around for you.. be there.. but not in the way of their lives !!!!
enough of gyan !!! phew... ab a long weekend in front of me again.. waiting for a long drive to meerut tommorow... and two weekoffs then.. lets see if i can complete the two books iwanted to read the last weekend :) am one helluva lazy ass i tell u :)
the piece of philophy lacked the universal appeal that could have prompted some appreciation, but alas! ...but last paragraph was engaging nevertheless :D
ReplyDelete:D
Take your own time before you decide to settle down. No matter for how long your parents keep bugging you with Sharmajee's/Vermajee's/Pandeyjee's bitiya ki photos.
ReplyDeleteBecoz once that gal enters your life as ur wife, even though you have known her for ages, your life is gonna undergo a dramatic change.
yaa i loved the last para too but wonder how many of us can actually put it to practice...
ReplyDeletethe way u ve put these feeligs was just amazing!!!...believe me coz the people who at times in their lives feel the same way as u must be feeling while writng this post wud definately understand it.....
ReplyDeletebut prashant, dont u think dat it is easier said than done...wish i cud do dat...or my boyfriend cud..dat is..give space to each other...
when two people are in a relationship...i think possessiveness at times takes over them...n it results in corroding dat line u talked about...
i think dat we should do unto others wht we wud like to be done to us...if u demand sapce in ur relationship...then give the other person enough space...
There need to be a balance and thats it.......even mature people are not able to sustain that for long time.....but yeah i have seen many rships where people do give space to each other.....
ReplyDeletemoreover we all long for lil bit of possesiveness from our partners...isnt it :)
@ Tushar : I did not understand what you meant by whatever u wrote in the first line... and in case u were or are in the misconception that i write to get appraciated... take that out of ur mind...
ReplyDelete@ Anon1 : i am not even thinking about settling down... thankfully mom and dad understand what my priorities are right now.. and they are not even close to bothering me the sharmajees or the pandeyjiez.... i am sure i will take my time before settling down... something like this cannot happen quickly !!!
@ anony2 : i do not know how many put this to practice... i know a few who did.. and are happy.. i know a lot of them who did not.. could not.. would not.. whatever.. and screwed up everything !!!
@ Bharti : easier said then done yes... that is why i could say it.. rather write it.. but could not do it when i shoudl have done... not that i regret it or anything.. but then i came out of the mess more mature then before...
about being possesive... to start with u call it concern.. and then it ends up with a feeling where u feel you cannot even breathe... tushar says something which is very nice... "Let it Flow".... and if anyone in a relationship can just do that... there would be 1-0-0 issues that would not even come up...
there is something more... we have to be the change we want.. u are right when u say that we should what we like to be done to us... if we can try put ourself into our partners shoes... things might just improve...
@ deepak : balance.. yes... too much of everything would create an issue... about longing for possesiveness... yes we all do.. but then again.. too much of it... just does not let u breath... u might just like to start with.. but then for HOW LONG?
arre, what is the status if ur leave app? have u applied and got them?
ReplyDelete@ Aqui : yea... i have matured to an extent.. and its pretty easy when i say all things outside of a relationship... i know they are tough to follow when u are a part of one.. but then... no one said its going to an ideal world for you !!!! Do try them.. and lemme know if it helps...
ReplyDelete@ burf : I have talked about it... not formally applied for the leaves.. i do not think there should be a problem... abhi to mereko ye bhi nai pata ke who i am reporting to :( bad bad corporate world !!!
par then should i apply for the leave or not? i mean trip ka pukka hai na? or shld i do it after u have got them sanctioned?
ReplyDeletetrip is not going anywhere.. its on !!! main itenary bana to di hai.. tension kyon le raha hai !!!
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