Good question.. ahan... can you draw a line..
got into this conversation with a friend last week.. and she did not want her husband to keep asking her questions about where she was wat was she doing... etc. etc...... one very very valid point that she had was that there should be a lotta trust in the relationship which removes that need of questions... coz you know whatever your partner is doing is right and he she would come back to you and tell you... but then it also depends on a person to person... my wife or girlfriend might like to update me on what happened in her life weekly and i might to hear it from her daily... what happens in that kinda scenario... where and how do i draw a line... that this is something that i should ask and this is something that i shouldn't... i feel that guys are more insecure in relationships and girls are more loyal...by and large.. not taking the examples of the few that i know of and one of them i lived.... so we would like to know what our better half is doing... what is she upto... right at the end of the day what matters is how much trust and faith do we carry along with us.. but also that talking and sharing are two things that build that up !!!!
dunno how much logic that made.. but the thought is still there in my mind...
see talking and sharing does a play major part in building a relationship and we all are insecure...
ReplyDeletehi Prashant..
ReplyDeleteu kno while it is true that trust is the most important element of ur relationship ,what is also true but may be not accepted generally is that how much ever u may pretend to be liberal minded and cool and whatever and love ur better halves unconditionally and not be bothered about what they do or where they go or whatever,u will STILL for sure like to know all about it! and every detail of it..and that dos'nt mean that u do not trust them or they don't trust u..just that u both are concerned and think it is a part of u that u would like to know about! It's always better to ,I think discuss with each other frankly how u both define that line..DON'T define it ALONE,coz that is when the 'loss of faith' sets in !!
Where it is correct to treat the other significant half of u as an individual what also should be kept in mind is that he/she is now a part of the circle of few people u would call ur family and our parents sure like to know what we are doing ,what we did ,where we went at times,similarly u too like to know where they went or may be where ur sis/bro went for a party ,with whom they went for the movie ..so on and so forth.then why treat him/her as different..it has to be a balance of asking and knowing...try to KNOW and not ASK !! ..ofcourse sometimes u may need to ask also but then I am sure if u really are meant to be together both of u will understand the need of it..baaki personally i think it will be good to some 'mutually agreed' extent if my spouse wants to know what's up with my life..would give me a feeling that i am cared for..anyways...peoples views may differ!...
anywaysa take care,hope u r fine now..Neha
nai nai.. this is not something that i am facing right now.. i am not in a relationship these days so the question answer session does not happen... that was a thought that popped up while discussing so called "life in a relationship and outside" book !!!
ReplyDeleteWaise whatever you have said and written makes a lotta sense... see the problem is that we cannot turn our heads away from the ground reality that our better halfs usually do not accept our friends as friends... lemme elaborate...
i get into a relationship... i would be more then happy to know her girlfriends.. but when it comes to guys she is close friends with.. i might have a slight issue... not that i would not understand.. but i would at that point of time like to be only guy she gives her maximum time and attention too.. dunno if that balance is as easy to reach as it to talk about...
khair jab hoga dekha jayega !!!!
first anon comment was mine...zilch
ReplyDeleteZilch.. you really think that men and women are equally insecure...
ReplyDeleteyes i do think that...zilch
ReplyDeletefirst of all i would like to apologize in advance to anywone who find my comments jester enough, but this is a bit confusing topic posted by dear Prashant.
ReplyDeletefor the records i happen to know 1 of the girlfriends of prashant (....hmmm maybe 2 ...lol) and if that is the kind of girl you have then u ought to be insecure, possesive or watever words u like to choose to use.
i guess i am sometimes in the possesive zone, sometimes in the insecure zone and sometimes in "the happy zone", but at the moment i am in none of those cuz currently i dont have a girl :(
on a serious note - i guess this depends on what kind of partner a person has got (irrespective of sex) , if the person thinks he/she is better in quality than his partner than the person would be in secure zone and vice versa.