ViRGiNiTy : DiGNiTy OR LaCk Of OpPoRtUNiTy

My thoughts from ORKUT about a topic that we can keep discussing about... its worth it.. but would it reach a conclusion.. i don't know...

(*_*) 10/18/2004 10:25 PM
The thread for sure invokes some serious thoughts.. but I would like to understand why do you have to start off something that is worth talking about anonymously !!!C'mon !!!!About marrying someone who is a virgin or not.. i guess that takes the back seat if you think that you can spend the rest of your life with the person.. getting married is a big decision and each and everything that might cause a damage to your relationship should be thought about... Its very hard to be honest very upfront to the person you are about to get married.. why? the reason is the fear of rejection !!!I would like to know from the gentlemen who have written posts here : Have you told all your girlfriends about your previous affairs.. about how many times you kissed your Ex. or even slept with her?
I had a tough time doing that in my previous relationship.. and we almost broke up after i said the truth !!! Things still did not work out well... but the point that i am trying to make here is that.. its easier said then done.. I respect each and every person here who says that the past of their life partner would not make a difference in their opinion and they would still go ahead and marry !!!

(*_*) 10/18/2004 10:36 PM
Oh.. and yes.. i would marry someone who has the guts and honesty to be upfront about her past.. in fact that is going to make me respect her more then i would have otherwise !!!

(*_*) 10/24/2004 11:24 PM
This is a topic that we can continue discussing on till infinity... Girls would most of the time assume that the guys have already slept with their girlfriends whenever they had one.. and boys would also assume the same.. we for some reason do not stop there and ask our partner if that really happened.. the fear of rejection stops us from asking this question.. and most of the time.. because we ourself have been physically close to person in our past we usually avoid talking about this topic...
Like most of us around.. i also would like to have a wife who has not slept with her boyfriend.. and i am sure the girl who marries me would be expecting the same.. but the ground reality is the most of the time in our relationships we get physically close and makes it getting out of them difficult... at times we suffer the feeling of guilt after it as well.. even though we had enjoyed every kiss which happened...
now what i feel i need to understand is that just like me my wife would also have a past and she might or might not have been physically close to her boyfriend... whatever said and done.. i would like to look at a future together and make that present better and not keep sticking to the past... it happened... its over... if she and i are willing.. we might not even let it effect our lives... words like trust, faith, commitment, love, truth, which seem only mere words after a break up... take their true shape after you have that special someone in your life...

(*_*) 10/24/2004 11:56 PM
(This post was a response to a post by Richa)
Guys would have reason to sleep around with every woman they go around with.. and Girls if not with the same frequency, but would still go ahead and have sex... Talking about why it happened.. and why someone still managed to be untouched is something that is completely personal in nature... Cannot classify it between the sexes.. though there might be reasons why guys are seen more interested in it then females...
I did not have sex so far and I am not ashamed of it... I do not say i have reasons to be proud of it either... and i am sure.. if there are other men in this forum who have not slept with some girl would have reasons to be ashamed or be proud of the same...

(*_*) 10/25/2004 4:42 AM
(This post was a response to a post by Tarun where he said that given a choice he would prefer to choose the non-virgin girls...)
@ Tarun : What do you mean by Choose the non-virgin girls ? I mean what do you think.. you will have women lined up in front of you with tags stating how many men they slept with or did not.. and for that matter.. how many guys would be true to the woman they are about to marry about their pre-marital affairs and how many times they had sex. Come to terms with life... what is a fact is a fact and if it happened in the past it better stay there... And not effect the future you have to have together... Also, if a guy goes ahead and sleeps around with 10 different women. he would be labelled a casanova by his friends and he would have a lot to boast about.. but if the same is done by a girl.. the same guy would not be too far away from calling her a whore and making sure that he tells the same to all of his friends... And at the same time would try to lay her down too... C'mon guys... when we talk about being practical i would still say tht being practical means taking the truth head on and see what is the best you can make out of it ..by either leaving it and accepting it...