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ViRGiNiTy : DiGNiTy OR LaCk Of OpPoRtUNiTy

My thoughts from ORKUT about a topic that we can keep discussing about... its worth it.. but would it reach a conclusion.. i don't know...

(*_*) 10/18/2004 10:25 PM
The thread for sure invokes some serious thoughts.. but I would like to understand why do you have to start off something that is worth talking about anonymously !!!C'mon !!!!About marrying someone who is a virgin or not.. i guess that takes the back seat if you think that you can spend the rest of your life with the person.. getting married is a big decision and each and everything that might cause a damage to your relationship should be thought about... Its very hard to be honest very upfront to the person you are about to get married.. why? the reason is the fear of rejection !!!I would like to know from the gentlemen who have written posts here : Have you told all your girlfriends about your previous affairs.. about how many times you kissed your Ex. or even slept with her?
I had a tough time doing that in my previous relationship.. and we almost broke up after i said the truth !!! Things still did not work out well... but the point that i am trying to make here is that.. its easier said then done.. I respect each and every person here who says that the past of their life partner would not make a difference in their opinion and they would still go ahead and marry !!!

(*_*) 10/18/2004 10:36 PM
Oh.. and yes.. i would marry someone who has the guts and honesty to be upfront about her past.. in fact that is going to make me respect her more then i would have otherwise !!!

(*_*) 10/24/2004 11:24 PM
This is a topic that we can continue discussing on till infinity... Girls would most of the time assume that the guys have already slept with their girlfriends whenever they had one.. and boys would also assume the same.. we for some reason do not stop there and ask our partner if that really happened.. the fear of rejection stops us from asking this question.. and most of the time.. because we ourself have been physically close to person in our past we usually avoid talking about this topic...
Like most of us around.. i also would like to have a wife who has not slept with her boyfriend.. and i am sure the girl who marries me would be expecting the same.. but the ground reality is the most of the time in our relationships we get physically close and makes it getting out of them difficult... at times we suffer the feeling of guilt after it as well.. even though we had enjoyed every kiss which happened...
now what i feel i need to understand is that just like me my wife would also have a past and she might or might not have been physically close to her boyfriend... whatever said and done.. i would like to look at a future together and make that present better and not keep sticking to the past... it happened... its over... if she and i are willing.. we might not even let it effect our lives... words like trust, faith, commitment, love, truth, which seem only mere words after a break up... take their true shape after you have that special someone in your life...

(*_*) 10/24/2004 11:56 PM
(This post was a response to a post by Richa)
Guys would have reason to sleep around with every woman they go around with.. and Girls if not with the same frequency, but would still go ahead and have sex... Talking about why it happened.. and why someone still managed to be untouched is something that is completely personal in nature... Cannot classify it between the sexes.. though there might be reasons why guys are seen more interested in it then females...
I did not have sex so far and I am not ashamed of it... I do not say i have reasons to be proud of it either... and i am sure.. if there are other men in this forum who have not slept with some girl would have reasons to be ashamed or be proud of the same...

(*_*) 10/25/2004 4:42 AM
(This post was a response to a post by Tarun where he said that given a choice he would prefer to choose the non-virgin girls...)
@ Tarun : What do you mean by Choose the non-virgin girls ? I mean what do you think.. you will have women lined up in front of you with tags stating how many men they slept with or did not.. and for that matter.. how many guys would be true to the woman they are about to marry about their pre-marital affairs and how many times they had sex. Come to terms with life... what is a fact is a fact and if it happened in the past it better stay there... And not effect the future you have to have together... Also, if a guy goes ahead and sleeps around with 10 different women. he would be labelled a casanova by his friends and he would have a lot to boast about.. but if the same is done by a girl.. the same guy would not be too far away from calling her a whore and making sure that he tells the same to all of his friends... And at the same time would try to lay her down too... C'mon guys... when we talk about being practical i would still say tht being practical means taking the truth head on and see what is the best you can make out of it ..by either leaving it and accepting it...


  1. And the credit to bring this thoughts to general public goes to Tushar Bhai... Applause !!! And for ppl who did not know this.. our very own Tushar Bhai was world famous in our college as "FORNICATOR". Where did this name come from is something that I do not know about.. but then most of the ppl in our cultural society and outside still know him by that name, and a few remember him by the name Tushar aka burf !!!

  2. u know ppl why that comment came in, it was somekind of second attack on me after dearest Prashant accused me and called me "his girl, theif" yesterday. now u ppl tell me is it gud to dig ur friend's dozen years old serets from school and college just beacuse u r green?

  3. I am sorry "Tushar Burfile Bhai". Bhool Chook Leni Deni... Gole mein ab aap sabse Aage Khade ho.. Jahan le jao wahi chale jayenge...

  4. Quite co-incidently today while I was telling Tushaar where I met u Prashant..and then told him about the topic of virginity which u had written on orkut ..and to which I had responded to..at the same time a friend of mine had invited me to this group which also (pata nai kitte log issko roz discuss karte hain!!)was discussing the same topic but in a more focussed way..and some beautiful thoughts emerged..I will bring to ur notice one of them ..which I thought was so beautiful ...
    The question on orkut was..
    Would like to know your opinion on Virginity !!
    Its importance, singinificance and if it is a physical state or mental.
    I mean is it possible to be laid a good number of times and still be a virgin ??

    One of the most beautiful thoughts went like this...
    the first defination given on dictinary.com is
    A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
    so some one who has had sexual intercourse musnt be a vigin .....whereas your question of some one being a virgin after going to bed umpteen no. of times is pretty interesting ......coz the same page also defines virgin as something chaste,unsullied,pure........and this is where i see virginity as a mental characteristic rather than a somatic one.....defining mental virginity is even tougher........for me it would be purity of heart and mind.....and even though you have become a part of the carnal circus ...u can still be innocent....so more of a state of mind game it is...

    I really liked this thought..don't know if many would practically agree to it or not..but atleast I liked it...bye..Neha

  5. i would recommend the latest bestseller by Dan Brown - da Vinci Code. Although i wont be able to quote bcuz of the limitations of my memory but i would like to present the gist

    in physical union, man and woman attain that mental stage at climax which devoids their mind of any kind of material thoughts and that is the stage where they can attain proximity with Him

    i didnt really understand those words but now i think that maybe the words in comment above are true

  6. a comment on my own comment with me being the representative of male species:-

    who won't love the close and perduring proximity with Him


  7. virginity ... clearly topics on which people double cross the most. its like this i wanna be seen with the most sought after girl around.. but when it comes to marrying someone, my wife shuld be smart but not lusted for !

    i m not a bra burnin feminist. but neither am i too appreciative of the ways women are treated not only in mother india but in this whole wide world.