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MoRe YeArS = mOrE MaTuRiTy oR nOt

I got into a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine a few days back..
She was saying that men are not matured... infact lemme start from the beginning.. she told me that there is a friend of hers who is really really attracted to a guy 15 years elder to her.. and the question was why?The answer came as because Guys of that age are mature and experienced.. and all those things...she is about an year older to me.. and says that she gets into intelligent conversations with me only because she is very mature... also another thing that came up was that at one age say 25, a man would be less mature then a woman..

i want to debate this topic... i would like to understand what factor would age play in make someone mature.. am i more composed and mature by the virtue of my age.. or does that depend on things other then that too...

Lemme list the things that an average Indian metropolitan Male would be thinking of when he is 25:
1) Get stability in career and slog for the next 1-2 years before settling down.
2) might like to get married to his sweetheart in case going around with the dame.
3) Look at the feasibilty of getting a house or a car.
4) A relationship... maybe maybe not.. but hoping that it does not take a lot in terms of time.. hoping that the girl understands that job would take priority for sometime...

What would a girl at 25 be thinking of..
1) when would she get married?
2) An affair.. no way... its time to settle down..

I am leaving this post incomplete.. i do not remember what all did we talk about.. but the discission was turning into an argument..

I would like to understand would it be fair to generalise that men are more or less mature at an age X then women.. and if you are older then someone else.. you are more mature as well !!!!

May be continued.....


  1. with whoever u went into conversation with, buddy, you dint make 'me' popular as per your promise ;) but i should place one of my observations forth - ur second comment about females is absolutely right "An affair.. no way... its time to settle down.." - but what happens when you realize that you are being given exactly the same excuse especially after you feel you've been enticed into the condition where you have "average Indian metropolitan Male" 's concern no. 1 on hand plus u feel like under utter stupid self-emotional pressure?

  2. A really interesting topic which can provoke many arguments. But i just want to add one point over here as to why that freind of yours said that if u compare a gal and guy in the same age grup say for eg : 25 a gal is always more matured is because thats a scientifically proven fact why do u think otherwise when parents are looking for a guy for their daughter they look for a guy who is atleat 2-3 years older than her. Or why do u think indian marriage rules allow a woman to get married at 18 whereas for guys the marriageable age is 21. that is because gals mature faster as compare to guys. Under any normal circumstances pls mind my words NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES given a guy and gal within the same age grup with no offence to guys she will always be wiser cause nature makes us that way. and since we are taking an eg of a guy and a gal within the age of 25 i m sure apart from a good physical relation with a gal and career a guy has nothing (this is an introspection for guys) when they were on his mind unlike a gal who has so many other things.

    and believe me i m not generalising as exceptions are always there "which i m sure u are one"

  3. My discussion with my friend with whom i had the first argument.. and a clash of opinions !!!
    She also wrote the above comment !!! which triggered the following conversation

    ME (12:09 PM) - i do not agree to what you say...
    ME (12:09 PM) - if the gals are more mature then why are they not talking about career and slogging to reach somewhere..
    ME (12:10 PM) - the things that you talked about getting married at 18 and 21 are stupid rituals which we follow without reasoning them...
    ME (12:11 PM) - now you can say that guys are stupid that they take time in growing up and that is why look towards getting married around 25-26 but girls are smart and that is why they reach the so called marriagable age sooner then guys..
    ME (12:12 PM) - but why don't you list down things that a girl at 25 would be thinking of...
    ME (12:12 PM) - and lets talk about them in terms of maturity..
    D’Friend (12:13 PM) - ok the only thing a guys has on his mind is when in that age grup (25) is sex istnt tht true
    ME (12:13 PM) - NO
    ME (12:13 PM) - its career and only work
    ME (12:13 PM) - for someone around 21 this might be true
    D’Friend (12:13 PM) - u are an exception in that case
    ME (12:14 PM) - i am not..
    ME (12:14 PM) - an exception..
    ME (12:14 PM) - the entire set of ppl that i know.. around this age are slogging themselves to reach somewhere..
    ME (12:14 PM) - and trust me they do not care if they have a female body helping them out in it or not...
    D’Friend (12:16 PM) - hmmmmmmmm
    D’Friend (12:16 PM) - i didnt get the last part
    ME (12:16 PM) - i mean how does it matter.. this is the age where they build base for the future.. sex or not sex... who cares...
    ME (12:17 PM) - this is not something that a guy cannot live without..
    D’Friend (12:17 PM) - ofcourse this is something guys cant
    ME (12:17 PM) - if there. no one would say no... agreed.. but making an extra effort to have a girl with them... neah.. i do not think thats worth wasting time in..
    D’Friend (12:18 PM) - thats how u think
    D’Friend (12:18 PM) - may be thats not on your mind
    ME (12:18 PM) - that is how men think at my age..
    D’Friend (12:18 PM) - but most of the guys i know they certainly do
    ME (12:19 PM) - c'mon rains.. physical intimacy is something that no guy would ever object to.. coz they do not carry a lot of emotional baggage along with it..
    D’Friend (12:19 PM) - ya rite
    ME (12:19 PM) - but saying that this is their priority.. would be wrong..
    D’Friend (12:19 PM) - why do u think men these days patao a gal
    ME (12:20 PM) - i have not seen a guy of 25 spending time patao a girl..
    ME (12:20 PM) - so i cannot comment..
    D’Friend (12:20 PM) - yeah rite
    D’Friend (12:20 PM) - u havent come across those kind of men
    D’Friend (12:20 PM) - whereas i have
    ME (12:20 PM) - if i was studying.. or was in a job that was not very critical.. i would have time and i would go ahead and try to patao a girl..
    ME (12:21 PM) - but when i am working and i know its making that base for my life.. i would not spend anytime doing this.. even though i might feel the need at times..
    D’Friend (12:21 PM) - hmmmmmmm
    D’Friend (12:22 PM) - see all i can say is we shud talk abt ourselves rather than generalising on a particular statement
    ME (12:22 PM) - agreed to the fact that men are more open to sexual flirtations then women.. but that does not mean that its the only thing they think about..
    ME (12:22 PM) - give a guy a choice between career and a dame..
    ME (12:22 PM) - and the obvious choice would always be career...
    D’Friend (12:22 PM) - hey the choice is not btw career and dame
    D’Friend (12:23 PM) - the choice is btw no strings attached relation purely physical and commitment
    ME (12:23 PM) - but there are times when we act as emotional fools and give away things which are more important.. and that is what exceptions are...
    ME (12:23 PM) - commitment comes with its own shit..
    ME (12:23 PM) - sorry for the word...
    ME (12:23 PM) - but that is how it is..
    ME (12:23 PM) - questions answers.. whys why nots..
    D’Friend (12:24 PM) - ya exactly
    D’Friend (12:24 PM) - thats wat a guy thinks commitments = shit
    ME (12:25 PM) - yes.. coz it comes with the kinda baggage that no one would like to handle..
    ME (12:25 PM) - you loose your independence..
    ME (12:25 PM) - you loose your privacy..
    ME (12:25 PM) - you live for the other person and that is it..
    ME (12:25 PM) - just that guys are more vocal about things that they do not like..
    D’Friend (12:26 PM) - hmmmmmmmmm
    D’Friend (12:26 PM) - that goes for a gal as well
    ME (12:26 PM) - girls would also talk about the samething.. but inside closed doors..
    ME (12:26 PM) - there is no difference..
    ME (12:26 PM) - we all talk about the same stuff.. just that the amount of talking differs..
    D’Friend (12:27 PM) -
    ME (12:27 PM) - i would not mind kissing a dame.. the dame would not mind either..
    ME (12:27 PM) - i would not think before i kiss her...
    ME (12:27 PM) - she will picture the entire world reacting to that kiss before she does that..
    ME (12:27 PM) - the fact was that they both wanted to get into it..
    ME (12:28 PM) - having reasons to get into it or getting out of it.. are all the childrenof your brain..
    ME (12:28 PM) - the way you want them to grow they will..
    D’Friend (12:28 PM) - HMMMMMMMMMMM
    D’Friend (12:28 PM) - ok can i ask u something
    ME (12:28 PM) - but putting too much thought makes a girl mature..i don't know..
    ME (12:28 PM) - go ahead ask..
    D’Friend (12:29 PM) - why are we arguing
    D’Friend (12:29 PM) - where is this argument gonna lead
    ME (12:29 PM) - learning..
    ME (12:29 PM) - which is continous..
    ME (12:30 PM) - and btw i am copying and pasting this conversation on my blog..
    ME (12:30 PM) - with the names changed..
    D’Friend (12:30 PM) - no all meant to say is we are two diff individuals who think differently u have the rite to have your opinoin so do i
    ME (12:30 PM) - yeah..
    ME (12:30 PM) - but does that mean that you have any less feelings then i do.. no
    D’Friend (12:31 PM) - feelings abt wat
    ME (12:31 PM) - anything under the sun..
    D’Friend (12:31 PM) - my needs are diff as compare to yours if all i can say
    ME (12:31 PM) - yeah..
    D’Friend (12:33 PM) - bus to phir no more arguments
    ME (12:33 PM) - ok..

  4. 1st for Prashant - fisrtly im sorry dear cuz i didnt read ur conversation with ur frnd which i surely will.

    for anonymous - guess u dint read my comment, i said something about "enticing the fella", and if the girl is so very concerned about the guy only caring about "the physical" part of the relationship, why to entice him in the first place. first the girl wants to be into it for the sake of affair or anything and then she doesnt want to be into physicalities for the unknown reasons. then wat does she considers a guy to be - a ping pong ball? why cant the girl give a simple flat bulletted list of what her priorities are and what does she wants out of the poor guy?

    to all - ...on the lighter note, condoms are after all not all that expensive and pretty safe too ....lol....kidding...apologies

  5. You must be kidding, Prashant. Were you???
    How can you even say something like ,"if the gals are more mature then why are they not talking about career and slogging to reach somewhere..???"
    Which age are you living in, dost?

    I think, women are equally and may be at times more ambitous than men. They dream big and SLOG really hard to make their dreams come true.

    I've been working for 8 years and I've slogged to make it to where I am today. I'm still slogging to reach where I want to be one day.
    I've been through all kinds of up and downs in my career. Initial career days, job hunting, exploitation, tolerating gender biased management, getting somewhere and then fallen down andthen picking myself again and starting from the sratch.

    Every day is a challenge and I fought many battles every day...and continue to fight like most of the women across the world. I know what it means to be jobless in a city like Delhi. I know how it feels when you don't know where your next meal is coming from. I know what it means to sleep with an empty stomach and not let your folks know about it.. and continue to fight. I've seen it all..experienecd it all. Yet! I never gave up. Continued to believe in my dreams and trust myself and God. I've worked for 54 hours at a stretch, without a break to complete a project and worked 18-19 hrs everyday for the initial years of my career. Boy, I always had an option to go back to my hometown and live a comfortable and protected life but I did not. I chose this life for myself and I'm happy with my decision. It has helped me discover myself. I realised I'm strong and determined.

    I agree there are women who chose to get married at 24-25 yrs of age and I really respect their decision. There is nothing wrong with it. It is an individual's decision. They have their reasons. Biologically, the best age for a woman to have a child in before 30 as after 30 generally there a medical complications. So, most woman prefer to have their children before they turn 30. As men don't have to carry a child, it does not bother them at what age they get married.
    It is an individual's decision.

    Also, I know 5 men, who are also my very good friends, who married at the age of 24-25 because they wanted to be with their beloved. Yes, they had to work harder and struggle together but then isn't marriage all about being with each other in good and bad times and building a home and family together?
    Grow up, boy and open your eyes to the world. Look around...

  6. @ Swati...
    I do not really see the point in the last line of your comment where you ask me to grow up and open my eyes to the world !!!

    you comment on something that is more than 4 years old, and almost shout at me for it !!! I refuse to be treated that way !!!

    about this post, we all make our opinions based on our experiences and of people we interact with over our lives... When I had written this post I had not really seen women who were very keen on making a point... and having said than, today I am surrounded by people ( and including a lot of women) who I have seen growing more and better than a lot of men ... so if you had asked me if I still think the same way, I would have probably told you how much I have changed in my perspective in the last few years !!!

    I am sure you must have gone through those hardships and it makes me respect you a lot for the effort that you put in to stand up to the hard times and still come out a winner !!! and I sure there are 100s and more of such people there, and having said that I still know of loads and loads of women who are more than happy not making any efforts... but thats not entirely true for just women, there are loads of men too who are like that !!!

  7. Ok. My mistake is that I got so carried away while reading the post that I forgot it was posted 4 yrs back. I'm sorry.

    But how can you say that I was almost shouting? On the contrary, I was actually smiling to myself when I was writing those last few lines...assuming that you are such a child who needs to grow up. (well...since the post is 4 yrs old, I'm sure you must have) I had no intentions of making you feel like the way you actually did. I am really sorry.

  8. I guess reading it did not really tell me that you were smiling..

    my mistake too...

    sorry meri side se bhi...

    waise ek aisee hi career focussed ladki ne mera kaafi time aur dimaag aur dil bhi kharab kiya hai... at the end mein tai tai phuss... mera bhi bevakoof bana aur mere parents ka bhi !!!

    I would be last person to not agree to the presence of career oriented women :)

  9. Hmm...But don't you agree whatever, happens for good? Every experience good or bad teaches us so much, right?

    Btw, zaroori nahi hai that all career-oriented girls don't believe in a personal or family life, getting married. In fact, most women want to get married and have kids, take care of their family yet continue to concentrate on their career. :)(adding this smiley just in case you think that I am shouting at you...:P)

  10. typo*
    *whatever ahppens, happens for good

  11. essh....kya hai yeh! Grrr...apne aap hi 'submit' ho jata hai...even before i can check wht i've written their is a click sound and the comment is submitted..:(

  12. Sach bolun to over a period of time I have stopped generalising things !!! i am sure there are exceptions to any generalization and I might be having opinions just because I have not see the other side of the coin !!

    I wish the girl I just talked about had some heart too !!! khair... another story !!!

    thanks for the smiley... makes sense :)