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PhYSiCaL - EmOTiOnaL Or NoT

Excerpts from my conversation with Bindiya yesterday evening....

: ya right!
so wat will ur next blog will be on..?
what r u planning to blog on?
me: umm..
I wanted to write about how I like women... and why I can be physical without getting too emotional about it..
par I did not get enough words to write...
Bindiya: but u can actually get physical without being emotional with a person?
me: without getting too emotional is what I said...
I do not treat sex as a big deal....
not that I can get physical with anyone.. but I think it’s an overrated topic
Bindiya: okay.....thtz fine but does tht mean u treat it too casually??
me: no
I understand the importance of getting physical in people's life... and give it due respect..
but if expected to treat being physical as some kind of commitment is something that I cannot do...
Bindiya: yeah I understand tht - but then I think u get physical with people with you are committed too and not everyone. atleast I wud.
as for commitment. a commitment is a commitment.
me: we think differently
Bindiya: spiritual, emotional, physical - are all aspects of it.
me: true..
Bindiya: but I think one needs to be committed to experience each of these.
me: in agreement with your thoughts.. but I think differently
Bindiya: ya to each his own....but I didn’t quiet get ur stand.
explain again...
me: which is fine... you do not have to understand everything that I say na...
or agree to them
Bindiya: but I want to understand wat I can..
me: fair enough..
Bindiya: agreeing with it or disagreeing is another matter.
me: dekho... while I understand that emotions lead to physical contact...
the visa versa is not correct...
Bindiya: hmmm...
sahi hain!
me: I might like someone physically without any emotions...
Bindiya: possible..
me: infact that’s what the looks matter thingie is all about
: agree..
me: you check the physical aspect of a person..
so all I am saying is that to be involved physically with someone, I do not need to be emotionally dependent on the person...
it’s not as casual as having coffee together..
Bindiya: almost..
me: but I do not take it too seriously to influence life either..
stuff like I have to be committed, and only then we will kiss is something that I just do not understand...
Bindiya: yeah.. right! many people dont.
me: there are physical needs of a person as well...
and there can be times when they are more important then the emotional ones
I do not have any emotional needs... personally I do not need any emotional support from any one person...
Bindiya: so to fulfill them in the absence of a relationship one can explore them in a non-committal basis is wat u r saying. ok!
me: right
Bindiya: yeah we have different thoughts on this. but ya right I understood ur take on it.
me: cewl...
Bindiya: but tell me, even in case of wat ur saying - doesn’t one require a minimum level of comfort zone with the person with whom s/he is trying to get intimate with??
me: totally
without comfort you cannot even hold a finger.. forget about a kiss !!!
Bindiya: it can’t just be anybody 'n everybody!
me: I do not even look at women I do not think I can talk to..
Bindiya: but wat u wrote sounded more like a desperate attempt to meet physical needs.
me: if I can talk, then I can kiss...
if I cannot talk.. let the chick go to hell, even if she is a bomb
Bindiya: if thtz the case, then there sure is a relation which is the basis of the intimacy..
me: there is...
it does not necessarily translate into emotional dependency na..
or does not mean you become a couple..
Bindiya: nothing does, 'n then everything is.
dont u think?
intimacy with a person be it physical or emotional or mental brings in a level of dependency - not negative. but it does!
instead of 'dependency' - lets use the phrase support or 'looking up to' someone..
me: hmm....
agree here...
par a kiss, does not mean you gotta be in an affair..
Bindiya: absolutely..
but in somkinda relation..
me: and I know women who want to be kissed and make out.. but the condition is that you commit to being in a relationship
desperation to control hoti nai hai... lekin pehle relationship chahiye..
Bindiya: a relationship cannot be conditional.
hehehe...u r crude!
me: will agree to this too...
yes, I am..
mujhe sugarcoat nai hote words...
jo hai so hai
Bindiya: make it - very crude :P
me: :D
the unfortunate truth is that most of the relationships are conditional
it’s a give and take situation..
and that is why most of them do not work out..
guy get into it thinking they like the chick... and will get physical satisfaction out of it...
And gals get into it thinking they like the hunk and will get emotional satisfaction out of it...
Thode time baad satisfaction levels mein hota hai clash...
And u-turn
This might be too wide a generalization; however I have seen this happening...
Bindiya: par hero jo tum kah rahe ho - uska nichod mujhe yeh lagta hain ki physics, chemistry maths r all momentary needs with people whom we have a link with. sometimes they graduate to a relationship, sometimes they don’t...
me: sahi bola toone ladki
samajhdaar hai tu
Bindiya: but in case of existing relationships/affairs, divergent physical emotional needs lead to fights and separation

may be continued...


  1. u have ur point and bindiya is right on her part too.......

    point is, u need the other person to think the way u think......thats it .......

    for most of the people, when u get physical in any way, its a kind of commitment.......for few of them its not........find the ones u think are in minority :)

  2. hehehe...Okay now tht we are famous dude! how about startin' a cult enterprise undertakin discourses on the physical & emotional aspects of human life..;)



  3. # deepak...

    however i do not agree to you when you say that "point is, u need the other person to think the way u think......thats it ......."

    i think, i only need the other person to understand and respect the way i think... and if there is a difference of opinion after that too... i am fine with it...

    the ones like me will always be in Minority !!! ,after all I am born to be different !!!

    # bindiya...
    yes we are famous now :)

    and what a good idea this is... lets talk on these lines sometime soon !!!

  4. my point when i said that was the other person shud be like u to have any kind of physical rship with u.........

    when u say i think, i only need the other person to understand and respect the way i think... and if there is a difference of opinion after that too... i am fine with it... ........
    it wont lead to any kind of physical intimacy without any commitment........

    yeah, i know u, me and few others...we are DIFFERENT :D

  5. # deepu...

    nai re... the person does not need to be like me at all... and i am saying that with experience and not because i feel that way...

    but then on second thoughts, maybe i have met women like these, and you have not... i will agree to what you are saying as well :)

    and about the different part... yes we sure are !!!

  6. I think you are the right person for a job.

    Earlier, it was between Deeps and you, but your post makes it clear - you are the man!

    Waiting for Woodie, Richa and Rohit to confirm.

  7. @subbu sir
    i know wat u r talking abt and i was never in for it........
    prashie will have all the glory :D

  8. # subbu...

    manh... shut the fcuk up !!!! i quit even before i start on that job !!!!

    also sayan ko promise kiya hai maine that i will never take up that opportunity !!!

    # deepu...

    shut the fcuk up for you too... i can still have the glory and be proud when you do the actually activities...

  9. ye bindiya kaisi hai dekhne me? ;)

  10. Bhai Prashant,

    I will shut the fuck up.

    But, tell me one thing: Why did you have to promise Sayan that you won't do something, if you didn't want to do it?

    Anyway, for me physical relationship is the natural progression for emotional attachments. The other way is dangerously foolish.

  11. # burf...
    dunno... have not met her yet...

    @ subbu...

    good hai.. :D
    i did not have to promise anything... it was one of the conversations that happened between me and sayan... and she took it in writing that i am not going to do anything of this sort...

    about it being dangerously foolish... i will leave it to an individual to decide seriously...

  12. Ahem. I'm so glad my friends and I don't talk about all this. We just get stories ;) *cough*

    Oh, and, I'm with Dada.

  13. OH!!! And when was Deepak not in it? JHUTH BOLTA HAI!!!

    Deepak and Prashant: Hum sab jaante hain.

    And don't worry Prashant, I'm sure SayanDi has lost that paper already. Ahem.

  14. In my experience when you're not emotionally involved with someone but having a physical thing with them, there's something missing. I mean you may not feel it at the time; but when you are physical with someone you are emotionally involved with, there'a a whole different dimension to it, you know?

  15. hahahahahahahahahahahahahaa..............saare bachche bade ho gaye lagta hai.

    saala wahi sadiyon purana sawaal........
    its only difference between a man and a woman. one can, the other cant. as simple as that.

  16. Although...and please everyone (Prashant, Deepak, Rohit, Richa and Subhadip) focus on the word *although*...this post and numerous other indications in the past from the other side of the fence have indicated that Prashant IS THE man for the job in question, I really really love this man. And therefore I think we should not impose this on him. And I did take this promise from him before leaving India that he wouldn't take it up no matter what fringe benefits are in the offering... :D

    The job therefore is now for the taking between D and Rohit, and of course Subhadip joins the fray as and when he is in Delhi. :D
    (Controlling laughter because everyone around you is sitting quietly and working is the hardest thing to do.)

  17. From now on, I'm never going to look out for Woodsmoke's comments. Such a disappointment. It's all because of Amrikka, man.

    And, don't you bloody involve me, Dada and Deepak. It's Prashant's job. End of the story.

  18. Emotions and physicality are both basically needs...... one may be emotionally inclined towards someone and yet not physical with him/her and vice versa. for some the former is strong others its the latter(its not sexs spefic ie male nd female)....that doesnt mean both shud go hand in hand....

  19. @BM
    jab se tum foreign shores gayi ho...yahan bahut kuch change ho gaya hai.........and u r not keeping up with the changing times :D

    prashie is out, rohit and me are innocent kids......that leaves subbu sir..........he is doing everything possible religiously to be MF to complete this task......

    no wonder he is missing delhi like anything these days :D

    ham sabki wishes subbu sir ko :)

  20. Wah wah wah!
    Project Desperation ke true hero, Subhadip, ko mera salaam. Aur bahut bahut shubhkamnayein. Woh MF karke humein update zaroor de.

  21. @subbu sir
    dilli ki ticket kab le rahe ho ?

    wat an amazing name for the project :D

  22. intresting topic....abhi said it absolutely right.... totally agree....

  23. Everyone knows who's desperate to what extent. Bangalore dude doesn't need to be bothered...when those (who are wishing they could..) can go for it. And even though he is 'missing' Delhi, we all know that's not where the requirement is. Ahem.

  24. @Deeps
    "... Rohit and me are innocent kids..." - what was that? Confession? Wishful thinking?

  25. I'd still stick to Prashant Bhardwaj. Go for it, dude. All my wishes are with you. :P

  26. Yeh sab sunke Prashant Rishikesh mein na reh jaye!

  27. No comments....or on second thougths....leaving aside the way you put it...i guess u r right.

  28. @rohit
    if u r so much worried abt subbu sir, why dont u take the job :D

    @subbu sir
    he is back.....dont know abt rohit any more now......the way things are going....he seems to be quite interested in job........

  29. hmmm... well now thats some food for thought... but i just wanna add... a relationship, either emotional or physical... is not fair, until both parties are at the same pedestal. doesnt make sense if the people involved have different understanding of the same situation. there probably wud be no issue of 'desperation' and emotional attachment if intentions are made clear from the first look. being a woman, i can safely tell u, that if a guy is honest abt his intentions and issues, there's a good chance that the physical indulgance is electric and remains far from getting emotionally entangled. there shud not be feelings of guilt, regret or being cheated involved, which only happens if their is an open honesty from both sides. it works out good for most women then.

  30. well the thing is men cant understand women,,coz god himself has faltered many times...and men are 2 simple for women to understand,,they get confused by the mere simplicity of thoughts..I mean that good Batsman get out on V bad balls... :-d

  31. # rohit...
    beta hamari umar meni aayega to you will get more then just the stories :D

    @ mayuri...

    # soo...
    i know there is something missing... but then you can get physical only with ppl who you can connect to... its a li'il different then the one night stands after i got high kinda situation...

    about that dimension you talking about... i know...

    # abhi...
    sahi bola bhai sahi bola..

    @ sayan...

    don't i love you sayan..

    @ anony...

    # kanu...
    hmm... ok...

    # moonie...
    very very valid thought... very valid... appreciate that...

    # ankur...

    i was waiting for your wise words :D

    good good :D

  32. @Deepak
    Yikes. Only you could have thought of involving me. Tumko problem kya hai re mujhse bey! x-(