I ain't Sugar !

I ain't sugar, don't think I am sweet

I ain't the sun, don't think I got too much heat

I ain't the moon, to keep your nights lit

I ain't the air, to let you breathe

I ain't fire, to burn your heart

I ain't water, to cool you down

I ain't a joker, to keep you away from the frown

I ain't a river, to let you flow



But I am me...



a bit of fire

a bit of water

a bit of earth

a bit of sky

a bit of mountain

a bit of air

a bit of sun

a bit of time

a bit of sadness

a bit of fun

a bit of sparkle

a bit of glare

a bit of heart

a bit of dirt

a bit of strength

a bit of weakness

a bit of distance

a bit of caress

a bit of space





a bit of nothing



a bit of everything



but

I ain't sugar, don't think I am sweet

I ain't the sun, don't think I got too much heat

I am tHiS ThAt aNd MoRe...

Aro thinks that I am nuts, and a gone case and maybe more...

Mon thinks I cannot laugh at myself, and that I am too practical...

Bindiya thinks that I am too much of a matter of fact person...

Ankur thinks that I judge people too quick...

Deepak agrees with Ankur...

Anjuli thinks that I am very rude, and I am arrogant, and that I don't care about people, and that I am a very good photographer... A lot of other friends also agree with Anjuli...

Sharanya thinks that I am not a logical person and too emotional...

Rains thinks that I am very sweet, and rude at times, and that not many people can stay angry with me...

A lot of women think I am a womenizer... and a few men think so too...

Nimisha thinks that I have the best sense of humor in the world...

Adi thinks that I only work because I love to and not for money or growth... he even asks me, Sir, paise ke liye kab kaam karna shuru karoge? :D

Ruchi thinks that I carry too much mystery about me, and she gets into a analyse mode when she talks to me....

And a lot of people think something or the other about me...

and I am glad that I am all of it, and a lot more actually a hell lott more :)

I am THIS I am THAT and I am MORE...

I am trying to figure out while I am living my life... and this is how I like to live:

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire how about yours
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

I speak this.. you hear that...

I don't know how to sugarcoat my words... I might be silent and not speaking... and there are times when its happening because people are new to hearing how I speak and might find it raw... but the good news is thats how I am...

Thankfully, so far, professionally, I have always been admired and appreciated for my speaking abilities, with a few notes here and there of being too straight forward with words... That should explain and acknowledge the street plays, and the time on and off stage I have spent... God !!! How I wish I live some of that time again sometime... aap sun rahe ho na Uncle? note karlo je wala point please...

I am not a player of words either... i don't know how to blow up a conversation by using bigger words and making it sound larger than what it is... probably things which are simple sound better and easily understandable when they are said simply too...

I love talking in Hindi... and like hearing Hindi... i don't know if I remember writing a lot of it... its been a while I have not written anything in Hindi on a paper...

and then again, more often than not my Hindi is the raw Hindi... comes straight, can sound harsh, is not meant to be that way... and people realize that only over a period of time, having said that, there usually are cases where they did not like what i said and how i said it before realizing, that it was not how it was supposed to be heard...

I guess the western UP Dehati element is something that rules my way of speaking...

just like

Prashant becomes a Proshanto in Bengal (I love it for some reason, probably because the way its said, and because the "sh" sound is retained... i like that sound actually)

and

Prashant becomes Prasanth during a lot of my conversations with my teams from Bangalore and Madras Hyderabad (and I HATE it; probably because the "sh" sound is removed, and the "th" is added... honestly I am not sure but this version of my name is irritating) In fact, if someone mentions my name incorrectly in an email, I usually point them towards my signature or my address book details where they can refer to the correct spellings....

and

Prashant also becomes Parsaant a lot of times... and this always freaks me out... I double Hate it...

What did I start writing about? oh... the way I speak... yea !!!

So the fact remains... my way of talking is not sweet, is rough, but honest..

and when I say ek chamaat padega, I am not really going to hit :) It needs to be translated to "I am not in agreement with what you said, and because I care and I feel connected, and I am expressing my disagreement with what you just said."

I like the chamaat line... but if someone chooses to hear it the sophisticated way :) I am game...