I am tHiS ThAt aNd MoRe...

Aro thinks that I am nuts, and a gone case and maybe more...

Mon thinks I cannot laugh at myself, and that I am too practical...

Bindiya thinks that I am too much of a matter of fact person...

Ankur thinks that I judge people too quick...

Deepak agrees with Ankur...

Anjuli thinks that I am very rude, and I am arrogant, and that I don't care about people, and that I am a very good photographer... A lot of other friends also agree with Anjuli...

Sharanya thinks that I am not a logical person and too emotional...

Rains thinks that I am very sweet, and rude at times, and that not many people can stay angry with me...

A lot of women think I am a womenizer... and a few men think so too...

Nimisha thinks that I have the best sense of humor in the world...

Adi thinks that I only work because I love to and not for money or growth... he even asks me, Sir, paise ke liye kab kaam karna shuru karoge? :D

Ruchi thinks that I carry too much mystery about me, and she gets into a analyse mode when she talks to me....

And a lot of people think something or the other about me...

and I am glad that I am all of it, and a lot more actually a hell lott more :)

I am THIS I am THAT and I am MORE...

I am trying to figure out while I am living my life... and this is how I like to live:

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire how about yours
That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored

EXHale...

For about 2 weeks, I have been thinking of writing why I had a series of unsuccessful relationships in my past, and why I still know how to MESS things up BIG time and why I think I am a misfit when it comes to relationships :D

Just that I have not been able to gather enough courage to go public with that amount of truth...

I should start an anonymous blog !!! or steal someone's diary and write what I want to in there... or hack someone's account and post it in their name !!!

what else can i do?

Write it on a wall in UK :D when no one is watching... Graffiti... with the crazy people I know here, it might just sell for millions...

Make a painting out of my thoughts... again worth some greenies...

Umm... take pictures and say what i want to say in code... Naah... I make an attempt to take happy pictures or make them look encouraging.. with some exceptions of course !!!

What else?

Talk to someone about it? I did... with three friends...

One took a split second to agree to the fact that I suck !!!

the other gave me a lot of gyan and tried to pep me up, and partially agreed...

and the third, made fun of me and applauded at the honest confession !!!

For some reason, I am not feeling too bad about it... there are good things about me, there are bad ones too... Not being able to handle people I love is one of the BADDEST ones !!!

Why am i writing about it right now?

Valid point...

And I am doing it ,

Because I think i should take that thought of thinking about writing about thinking about why I suck should be out of my system...

And because I have been carrying this thought for a long time... years maybe !!! It needs to go out of my system... it need a body wash that can clean things from inside...

Or maybe I just need to eat at a dhaba, have chai at a road side stall, drive the entire night, have a few paranthas at murthal, honk the horn when i feel like, have a few golgappas till my eyes and nose start running, flip through the useless TV channels, etc etc...

Ok... so two things now...

1. No Gyan please :) take this post into your stride and humor :)

2. Read the previous post and help me out !!! not with Fishing Rods and instructions on how to fish, but with some FISH :)