PhYSiCaL - EmOTiOnaL Or NoT

Excerpts from my conversation with Bindiya yesterday evening....

Bindiya: ya right!
so wat will ur next blog will be on..?
what r u planning to blog on?
me: umm..
I wanted to write about how I like women... and why I can be physical without getting too emotional about it..
par I did not get enough words to write...
Bindiya: but u can actually get physical without being emotional with a person?
me: without getting too emotional is what I said...
I do not treat sex as a big deal....
not that I can get physical with anyone.. but I think it’s an overrated topic
Bindiya: okay.....thtz fine but does tht mean u treat it too casually??
me: no
I understand the importance of getting physical in people's life... and give it due respect..
but if expected to treat being physical as some kind of commitment is something that I cannot do...
Bindiya: yeah I understand tht - but then I think u get physical with people with you are committed too and not everyone. atleast I wud.
as for commitment. a commitment is a commitment.
me: we think differently
Bindiya: spiritual, emotional, physical - are all aspects of it.
me: true..
Bindiya: but I think one needs to be committed to experience each of these.
me: in agreement with your thoughts.. but I think differently
:)
Bindiya: ya to each his own....but I didn’t quiet get ur stand.
explain again...
me: which is fine... you do not have to understand everything that I say na...
or agree to them
Bindiya: but I want to understand wat I can..
me: fair enough..
Bindiya: agreeing with it or disagreeing is another matter.
me: dekho... while I understand that emotions lead to physical contact...
the visa versa is not correct...
Bindiya: hmmm...
sahi hain!
me: I might like someone physically without any emotions...
Bindiya: possible..
yep.
me: infact that’s what the looks matter thingie is all about
Bindiya: agree..
me: you check the physical aspect of a person..
so all I am saying is that to be involved physically with someone, I do not need to be emotionally dependent on the person...
it’s not as casual as having coffee together..
Bindiya: almost..
me: but I do not take it too seriously to influence life either..
stuff like I have to be committed, and only then we will kiss is something that I just do not understand...
Bindiya: yeah.. right! many people dont.
me: there are physical needs of a person as well...
and there can be times when they are more important then the emotional ones
I do not have any emotional needs... personally I do not need any emotional support from any one person...
Bindiya: so to fulfill them in the absence of a relationship one can explore them in a non-committal basis is wat u r saying. ok!
me: right
Bindiya: yeah we have different thoughts on this. but ya right I understood ur take on it.
me: cewl...
Bindiya: but tell me, even in case of wat ur saying - doesn’t one require a minimum level of comfort zone with the person with whom s/he is trying to get intimate with??
me: totally
without comfort you cannot even hold a finger.. forget about a kiss !!!
Bindiya: it can’t just be anybody 'n everybody!
me: I do not even look at women I do not think I can talk to..
Bindiya: but wat u wrote sounded more like a desperate attempt to meet physical needs.
me: if I can talk, then I can kiss...
if I cannot talk.. let the chick go to hell, even if she is a bomb
Bindiya: if thtz the case, then there sure is a relation which is the basis of the intimacy..
me: there is...
it does not necessarily translate into emotional dependency na..
or does not mean you become a couple..
Bindiya: nothing does, 'n then everything is.
dont u think?
intimacy with a person be it physical or emotional or mental brings in a level of dependency - not negative. but it does!
instead of 'dependency' - lets use the phrase support or 'looking up to' someone..
me: hmm....
agree here...
par a kiss, does not mean you gotta be in an affair..
Bindiya: absolutely..
but in somkinda relation..
:)
me: and I know women who want to be kissed and make out.. but the condition is that you commit to being in a relationship
desperation to control hoti nai hai... lekin pehle relationship chahiye..
Bindiya: a relationship cannot be conditional.
hehehe...u r crude!
me: will agree to this too...
yes, I am..
mujhe sugarcoat nai hote words...
jo hai so hai
Bindiya: make it - very crude :P
me: :D
the unfortunate truth is that most of the relationships are conditional
it’s a give and take situation..
and that is why most of them do not work out..
guy get into it thinking they like the chick... and will get physical satisfaction out of it...
And gals get into it thinking they like the hunk and will get emotional satisfaction out of it...
Thode time baad satisfaction levels mein hota hai clash...
And u-turn
This might be too wide a generalization; however I have seen this happening...
Bindiya: par hero jo tum kah rahe ho - uska nichod mujhe yeh lagta hain ki physics, chemistry maths r all momentary needs with people whom we have a link with. sometimes they graduate to a relationship, sometimes they don’t...
me: sahi bola toone ladki
samajhdaar hai tu
Bindiya: but in case of existing relationships/affairs, divergent physical emotional needs lead to fights and separation


may be continued...