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26/02/05

gALTi !!! d'MiShTaKe

today in the evening i saw a movie... and the name of the Movie was "bewafa"... why did i see it... well.. vinay is in the town.. the same guy i went to ajmer and pushkar with ( that gave me so much to talk about with neha)... ok.. so we went to this place in noida.. Centerstage Mall... and vinay stood in the line to get the tickets for Page 3... i really wanted to watch that movie.. but for some reason.. instead of page 3 he bought the tickets for Bewafa...

Bewafa is not a movie... bewafa is a mistake... a mistake by anil kapoor...akshay kumar...manoj bajpai and that good for nothing Kareen Kapur. what a waste of time it was..basically if ppl have seen Murder ( arre wo Mallika Sherawat wali movie) Bewafa is basically just a flashback of that... kareena loves akshay, sush is kareena's sister, anil is sush's hubby... sush dies at childbirth leaving twin girls behind, kareena leaves akshay to marry anil to take care of the babies and the family, anil cannot forget sush, no time for kareena, anil realises he needs to change, and at that time akshay meets kareena... lost love blooms again.. no steamy scenes though...anyway... and then anil and manoj plan to let kareena decide what she really wants to do.. and then the world famous in delhi dialogue by Kareena "Raja, ek patni bewafa ho sakti hai... ek premika bewafa ho sakti hai.. par raja...Ek maa Bewafa nai ho sakti" Uffffffffffff... kya dialogue thaa... meri to aankon mein aansoon aa gaye.. dil to kara ek rakh ke doon kaan ke neeche saare actors or director ko...aur producer ko bhi...

anyway.. somehow that snail of a movie finished and i rushed home to talk to nanu.. but she was not yet home... am waiting... lets see when can she manage sometime today...
hey..and a word of advise... PLEASE DOOOOOO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE.. PLEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZ

RRRRiiiiiiiiiiiNNNNgggggggg !!!!

The day starts with a ring... and the ring tone is.... Pehla Nasha Pehla Khumar :) I pickup the phone & I cannot beleive my ears... Chinki called up :) i was so shocked to hear her voice after so many days that i just did not know what to speak and how to speak... though managed to ask her how she was doing.. how were things... was she taking care of herself or not... and then after 3 minutes and 12 seconds we hung up... and then came the thoughts.... soooooooooo many of them... things that i had to ask her.. things that i had to tell.... and i was like.. Prashant beta.. you are such a dodo... and i was kinda feeling bad about not being able to talk to her properly for so many days.. but it was for sure such a wonderful feeling to get that call.. what a perfect start to the weekend...the voice that i had been missing for so many days...

hey thanks Chinki for that call...

So about two hours later... i decide to call up.. and this time it was her turn to get surprised... hehehehehe.. life is good... after short talk which made me feel soooooooooooo better.. not because this time i could talk about all the things that came to my mind after the morning's call.. but because i could talk.. that feeling was and is great !!! i can keep smiling.. and somehow my "call centre" training is helping here during all these conversations... what we were taught is to imagine what our customer is going thru when we are on the call with him/her. Try to visualise the person.. and i think we all do it.. when we are not able to see the person we are talking to rather communicating with.. we tend to think what that person is doing.. what is (s)he looking like... what is the kinda place (s)he is in and so on....

dunnno what i am writiing.. but it was great talking to you chinki.. thanks again...

20/02/05

Qs, gUiTaRs, ScReAmS, pArTiNG & tEaRs !!!

saturday evening started with rock... 6 bands from all over delhi coming together to perform and showcase their talent in the "9th Great Indian Rock 2005". Out of the 6 bands... 3 were from delhi and they were really awesome.. one thing worth mentioning here was.. the 5 band to perform in this GIR, Nakshatra.. the foundation of this band was laid in the basement of my very own college, PGDAV and i remember jamming along and listening to what they played !!!! Sumit was the guy who was the lead guitarist of this band and also the vocalist.. and on sat. he was there playing the leads for the same band... felt really neat when i could see them perform in one of the most sought after rock band competitions !!!!

the GIR was over in the early night and then me and Tushar, moved towards the domestic terminal, Palam Airport. The occasion... Neha was going to Germany in the night... and we were going to drop her...Something that i knew was always going to happen and never wanted to come face to face with it... we had not been able to talk to each other properly for a few days because of her being really busy with her packing and all.. and even at the airport.. i felt so awkward, felt a li'il out of place coz she was there with her family and i was more of an outsider...
she was going to go.. and i could feel that pain inside me already...of having a friend go away... of not having someone who i could just visit whenever i want...and things that cannot be put into words... i was there just looking at her and the conversations going on between her and the family and also managed to sneak in a few words myself when needed...

finally not before long, the time for her to go was right there greeting us with the devilish smile... and there was nothing that we all could do... i had to let go... shook her hand.. wished her.. and kept looking at her going with she waving to all her family members and me.... she went inside the airport and i kept looking till she vanished in that large sea of ppl who were going to some place or the other...

the feeling while coming back was very awkward... i could feel the hollow inside me... a friend had gone today.. things would change.. life would change...and ofcourse still continue... she would reach germany and start with her confenrence..and after a month to Paris and start with her research.. get busy in her work and and make me proud with all the amazing work she'z gonna do...

after i woke up in the afternoon .. i was feeling really miserable...the heart was really really heavy... i knew she was not where she used to be one day before and that feeling was almost killing me...the entire time we managed to spend together in the past few months flashed in front of my eyes.. and could smile... but the hollow was there... it made me really really sad...
in the evening i tried calling her up at her hotel...could not get thru the first time...and then talked to the security team of her hotel who could not transfer my call to her room and then spent some time listening to the IVR in God knows how many languages before i hung up the next two times i called...

finally managed to talk to her around 2130 my time.. anf was really calm after that.. infact happy to hear the voice of one of my best friends...and happy that she was fit and fine there... i am happy for her.. and i hope she does really well.. she has a presentation tmrw and i am sure she is going to do that very nicely...

Thank you God for giving me the pleasure of such great friends...

and pawan really helped me get back to normal while i was feeling miserable during all this.. thanks pawan...and tushar helped me and her folks out with the number of the hotel room.. thanks tushar...

God bless us all....

17/02/05

mAgS !!!! nOw a MarRiEd wOmAn !!!

Mags got married, with Abhishek today.... they got married in the day and the reception was in the evening... i guess i was the only friend of mags' there before priya and naveen came in (you know they have been together since prep class and are not a wonderfully married couple, God bles them )...felt excited.. felt awkward.. felt strange.. kinda many feelings together... me and mags we together in college, though she was one year junior to me.. and was a very active member of the drama society... and while i was there and when i left.. she was taking very very good care of the cultural society as well in college...

an excellent designer, good actor, good writer... she is a wonderful human being as well... someone who has been around while i was going thru my rough patches with bhoomi and then shikha...

even after we passed out from college... we could manage to keep in touch somehow.. she went to jaipur for her master's course in designing... though i could not visit her even once in these so many years in jaipur.. but we managed to catch up thru emails or phone calls at times...
then she went to panipat to work for a rug factory as a designer...she was handling customers from Europe and US i guess for this firm actually...and all thru these years... her relationship with Abhishek grew stronger and stronger.. and finally today they got married... i am really happy for them.. and was happy to see myself there when she was starting one of the most important journeys of her life...

Mags and me had a couple of agreements.. dunno if they will ever be completed or not...one is she taking care of the room that i will stay in, basically do the designing rather paint a wall in that room to be specific...and the second that i would give her space in my three storey mall.. for a designer showroom which she can use the way she wants.. have a boutique she can have that.. or have a store where ppl find things which are rare to find...genuine art...dunno if any of these can ever come true.. she would be going to Ooty in another 2-3 months to settle down there....
This brings me to another school of thought...do you really need to plan for your life... i mean... there are so many things that you think you will do when you start thinking about life as a long term achievement opportunity.. but the way life takes its turns... things can really turn out different from what you expected...

even i had thought about a lot of things in my life.. but then life kept taking different turns and twists and i am where i am today... though not at all sad about how things are right now in terms of my life.. but then there is always a balance of good and the not so good in your life.. lemme recall what are the not so good things that i feel happened to me.. and what all good things kept me going !!!

1) BAD : I could not get thru engineering.. that was a real setback to my parents..who had high hopes with me... Good: I joined B.Sc. Mathematical Sciences.. one of the best courses in DU and then got an opportunity to be a part of the Cultural Society... helped me spend the best three years of my life in PGDAV college...

2) BAD : I had to breakup with Bhoomi, even though there was nothing wrong between us, but i chose to keep my parents happy instead of continuing with the relationship... Good : I had the perfect relationship with bhoomi, an understanding that most of the couples would just dream of, and had over 3 years of a great friendship, companionship, understanding, commitment, fun and laughter with her.. and at the end of it, I understood my commitment towards my parents and my family in the entire painful breakup episode...

3) Bad : Did not get a job in IT after i completed my masters in software systems.. the IT industry went for a toss... GOOD: I still got a job, though in a "call centre", spectramind.. where i could lay the foundation of a strong career and was guided by the best boss in the world, Bindu Krishnan. I have never met any professional more refined then her.. and she remains and always will remain as the best professional i have met..if i want to be like someone in my life.. then i wish to God that bring me closer to her maturity and understanding of life...

4) Bad : Got into another relationship.. which did not last for long, and gave me a hell of a time...Good : This one bad relationship taught me wht the good friends never could... i grew up thanks to this affair to an more mature and a less emotionally controlled person.. someone who could be out of control from his heart and still keep his brain working for the situation

5) Bad : Neha is going away... BEST : The kinda respect i got as an individual from her, the love and affection and friendship that is going to bind us together even if there are distances physically, her work which makes me proud of her, and her efforts to improve me as a person.. thank you neha for being such a great friend... I have never in my met someone like u and i doubt that i will ever meet a person who is such a perfect example of beauty with brains ever again....

and before i close this post... congratulations and my best wishes to Meghana aka Mags and Abhishek for a happy married life... hope everyday in life brings more smiles and joys to them... and they live happily ever after..................

13/02/05

ScAtTeR sCaTtEr !!!

i really wanted to write something today.. but there is no flow of thoughts... and if there is any.. it really is not making any sense... have deleted two cpmplete paragraphs after writing...

maybe i am not in a state to share the state of ma' mind !!!! needs a li'il regathering of thoughts...

11/02/05

hUh !!!

I have always thought about expectations and how they make you weak.. how they make you loose control over yourself as a person.. how easily they make you like someone or get angry when that someone does not meet some of your expectations...

its strange how even after I knowing everything and probably understanding most of it get into the trap of expectations...were the lessons learnt last year not good enough for me or what...

today prashant is angry with himself... and he promises himself YET AGAIN... that he is going to improve as a human being...as a person... easier said then done... human after all a human... can't really fight nature.. can i...

08/02/05

MoTiVaTiOn

Motivation... different times.. different sources... this one came from one of my dear friends Aseem... in an email.. made a lot of sense so thought of pasting it here.. instead of emailing it to everyone in the address book...

Five steps to staying positive in a negative world:
1. Understand that failure is an event, it is not a person. Yesterday ended last night; today is a brand new day, and it's yours. You were born to win, but to be a winner you must plan to win,prepare to win, and then you can expect to win.

2. Become a lifetime student. Learn just one new word everyday and in five years you will be able to talk with just about anybody about anything. When your vocabulary improves, your I.Q. goes up 100% of the time, according to Georgetown Medical School.

3. Read something informational or inspirational every day. Reading for 20 minutes at just 240 words per minute will enable you to read 20, 200-page books each year. That's 18 more than the average person reads! What an enormous competitive advantage . . . if you'll just read for 20 minutes a day.

4. The University of Southern California reveals that you can acquire the equivalent of two years of a college education in three years just by listening to motivational and educational cassettes on the way to your job and again on the way home. What could be easier?

5. Start the day and end the day with positive input into your mind. Inspirational messages cause the brain to flood with feel-good-about-yourself neurotransmitter. Begin and end the day by reading or doing something positive!

Dunno if this brings a change in the life of people who read this.. but its making sense to me.. how well i put this into practise is something that time will tell.. coz i have that real bad laid back attitude.. andi have to do something to fix that.. any suggestions on how i improve this about myself..